IVF Donor Selection

So, I have now had my second counselling session, which means I can get access to the international IVF sperm donor list. I decided not to write an entire post about that second counselling session. Nothing major happened; it was a pleasant and informative chat, just like the first session we had. I did mention to the counsellor that I appreciated the information on the single woman’s IVF support group. However, I want to get through a few more steps before I attend this. For me, at this time, I’m really trying to focus on myself and ticking off the boxes I need to. I don’t want to invite anyone into my little IVF world at the moment.

That being said, I am now at the donor selection stage, which is very exciting! You know, I have listened to podcasts where women say that they felt gross, like they were on Tinder for a donor, swiping away. Everyone has their own feelings and reacts differently to each stage of the IVF process. For me, I feel blessed that someone has decided to be a donor. It provides me with the opportunity to become a mum. Before IVF, what options did women have? What if you didn’t meet someone? I didn’t want to settle for a terrible match just because I wanted a child. But if IVF wasn’t available, maybe I would have. Fortunately, I am able to access IVF services. I’m grateful that there is a donor out there who is going to help. So, to the future donor, thank you ❤️

So, I’m at work, and it has now hit my lunch break. I scuttle outside and phone the donor team. I am so excited, and I have a million things running through my mind. I’ve listened to the stories of many women who have discussed their experiences with this, and I can’t believe it is finally my turn! I phoned the IVF Donor Team and confirmed a few details. They then transferred me to the person who manages the international IVF donor department.

We had a chat, and she explained the process. Basically, they will send me an email that has a link to the donor portal. She says that, currently, there are four donors available. You know, it is interesting. After listening to others speak about this stage and then going through the process myself, I noticed the little differences. From what I had heard, there would be this huge spreadsheet of names and details, so much that you could feel overwhelmed with the choices. However, I currently will only have four donors to choose from. To be honest, I think this suits me better. Too many choices can lead to indecision, I find. I’m happy with the four!

She continued on with her explanation of the process. I’m told that when I log into the portal, I’ll be able to read detailed profiles of each donor. Each profile will have information on physical characteristics, interests, and basic health information. There will also be a written note stating why they decided to become a donor. I didn’t know how I would get through work that day. All I want to do is log on and start reading! But the day went fast, and before I knew it, I was heading home to read through some IVF donor profiles.

When I thought about the kind of donor that I was looking for, I knew that I wanted them to have a similar appearance to myself. If I were having a child with a partner, it wouldn’t matter. However, as they will only have one parent, I want them to be similar to me. Apart from that, I want to stay open. There is no such thing in my mind as the perfect donor, just like there isn’t the perfect partner. So, with this mindset, I log into the international IVF donor portal.

I slowly read through each profile, and they all sound really nice. As I’m reading, I say to myself, ‘I’m going to go with my gut feeling. I will know when it is the right one’.

For a couple of days, I re-read the available profiles. However, I didn’t really feel drawn to any of them. There was one profile on the portal that I wasn’t able to fully access. I thought that maybe they were still in the process of adding the donor information, so I had patiently waited. But now, time was of the essence, so I emailed the IVF donor team. Turns out it was a broken link, which they quickly fixed.

And there you have it. This donor had similar features and was interested in health and fitness, which are also areas of interest for me. I read the profile and thought the donor sounded friendly and open. He liked to travel and had many friends from different countries. He came from a tight-knit family. The donor said in his profile that he can be quiet but that he is also confident. Also, there weren’t any major health concerns that stood out. After reading the donor’s profile, I went with my gut. This was my IVF donor.

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Recommended podcast: I’m Single at 35 and having a baby alone

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