IVF Donor Selection: Finding the Right Match
After my initial appointments and counselling, I reached the donor selection stage.
By this point, I’d completed my second counselling session, which meant I could access the international sperm donor list. I didn’t feel the need to write a separate post about that session — nothing significant happened. It was a straightforward, informative conversation, similar to the first.
I’ve heard people describe this part of the process as “Tinder for donors,” endlessly scrolling and comparing profiles. Everyone experiences it differently. For me, what stood out most was gratitude. Gratitude that someone had chosen to become a donor, making this path possible at all.
In my own situation, the path to parenthood wouldn’t have been possible without IVF. I’m very aware that access to treatment isn’t possible for everyone, and I don’t take the opportunity I have lightly. To my future donor: thank you.
During my lunch break one day, I ducked outside and called the donor team to start the donor selection process. They confirmed my details and transferred me to the coordinator who manages international donors. She explained the process and told me I’d receive an email with access to the donor portal.
At the time, only four donors were available.
The number of available donors didn’t bother me. I’d listened to podcasts where women talked about scrolling through huge spreadsheets of donor profiles, and I’d assumed that was what I’d be facing. But having fewer options felt manageable. Four profiles felt like something I could consider carefully, without feeling overwhelmed.
I was told each donor profile would include physical characteristics, interests, basic health information, and a personal note explaining why they chose to donate. That afternoon at work, I struggled to focus on anything else. I just wanted to get home and start reading.
When I got home and logged in, I started reading through the profiles. I already had a clear sense of what I was looking for. I approached the profiles with that in mind, without expecting anything to be perfect. There’s no such thing as a perfect donor — just as there’s no such thing as a perfect partner.
Over the next few days, I reread the profiles. No one really stood out, and one profile had a broken link that left me waiting. When it was finally fixed, I could finally read the donor’s profile.
Something clicked.
He had similar features, shared my interest in health and fitness, enjoyed travel, and described himself as quiet but confident. He came from a close family and had friends from different countries. His health record raised no concerns.
I trusted my gut and made my choice.
This was my IVF donor.
📖 If you missed it, you can read my previous post about My First IVF Counselling Session.
💬 Next, I’ll be sharing more about IVF Genetic Carrier Screening.
