IVF Process Steps: From Tests to Counseling

After my initial appointment and donor discussions, the next step was counselling. By this stage, I had already completed my blood tests and ultrasounds. I had also started the process to access my superannuation for IVF treatment. Now it was time for my first counselling session, held online with a counsellor who has been with IVF Australia for over 20 years. Honestly, I felt nervous. It felt like a test. Would she pepper me with questions and decide I wasn’t fit to be a mum? Being in my mind is exhausting sometimes! But it turned out to be nothing like that.

The counsellor came across as warm and supportive. She asked about me, my background, and my support system. We also talked about the pros and cons of using donors, both local and international. I shared why I had chosen to go with an international donor and the personal preferences behind that choice. As I mentioned in a previous post, Initial Appointment: IVF and Donor Process, the national database doesn’t currently offer the characteristics I’m looking for.

She also walked me through the IVF process in more detail. I had a ton of questions, and she answered them all openly. The chat felt supportive and informative rather than clinical. I won’t go through every detail, but if you want to learn more about the donor process, you can find some excellent resources on the IVF Australia donor sperm page.

Another big topic was how and when I would talk to my future child about being donor-conceived. I said I wanted to start those conversations as early as possible, so it feels natural. Many of the podcasts I’ve listened to suggest normalising these discussions from the beginning. We agreed that the language and detail should evolve with the child’s age. She recommended some wonderful children’s books that can help with this.

The counsellor also told me about a Single Women’s group that meets monthly. It’s made up of women who are either going through IVF or have already been through it. Since I don’t know anyone personally who has conceived through IVF, I think joining a group like this could be a valuable source of support.

All in all, I found the session incredibly helpful. I left realising that counselling isn’t about passing a test — it’s about giving yourself space to prepare emotionally for everything ahead.

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💕 Thank you for reading — and for being part of this space where IVF stories are shared honestly.