Should I consider IVF as a single woman?
Before I started this process, I never thought I would be going down the path of IVF as a single woman. It never crossed my mind that I might not have a partner to do this with. I want to share a bit about myself, my initial thoughts on starting a family, and how I imagined it would unfold.
Growing up, I wouldn’t say I had a strong desire to be a mom. But the idea of having a partner, a family, and a cosy home always sounded nice, like something out of a fairytale (you know, like the ones we all watched growing up! – lol). I was raised by an amazing single mom who managed everything on her own. My dad was kind of there growing up, but we drifted apart over time. Now we don’t have any contact.
For a long time, I found myself in relationships that just weren’t the right fit for me. I wasn’t the right match for them either. Back then, I didn’t have the emotional maturity to realise that. I also didn’t acknowledge my own role in those relationship breakdowns. I kept telling myself that each person I dated was “the one” because I craved that sense of security. In hindsight, I’m grateful those relationships didn’t work out. It took me a while to understand that I had some personal work to do before I could truly be a good partner.
Once I made the decision to take a break from dating, I ended up completely revamping my life. I moved to a new state and embarked on an exciting adventure. I switched jobs, met lots of new people, and really stepped out of my comfort zone. During this time, I got into self-development and fitness, which was a big change from my partying days.
By the time I reached my early to mid-30s, I felt ready to dive back into the dating scene. However, I quickly realised that dating in my 30s was more challenging than it had been in my 20s. Back then, I often found myself in relationships, even if they weren’t with the right person. Now, the dating pool felt much smaller, and I became increasingly anxious about not having started a family. Many of the people I met already had children and weren’t interested in having more. To be honest, I wasn’t enjoying the dating process at all.
I tried to maintain a positive outlook, but it was challenging! I often found myself wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why would I prefer to be on the couch in my trackpants, watching Netflix, instead of being on this date?” Eventually, it felt like I was dating simply because I wanted to start a family. I had also started to lower some important standards because I felt like time was slipping away.
At 36, I decided to book an appointment with a specialist to chat about freezing my eggs. I thought it would be a simple process: freeze my eggs, and then I can take my time finding the right partner. However, during our conversation, the topic shifted from egg freezing to my age. The specialist suggested I consider the possibility of having a child on my own. That really caught me off guard! I hadn’t thought about raising a child by myself. I always imagined meeting someone and raising a family together. After that appointment, I avoided the topic of egg freezing and the solo IVF suggestion for a while.
Fast forward, and I’m now 38, just weeks away from turning 39, and still single. I’ve also relocated back to NSW in a completely new area. I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious developed. In fact, the very last date I went on, I arrived at the restaurant, and the guy never turned up lol. Then, on my 39th birthday, my grandmother called to wish me a happy birthday. She asked, “Miss, how old are you?” I told her, “39, Gran.” She replied, “Well, I think we need to get serious about your eggs then.” I chuckled because that was typical of her. However, deep down, I knew she was right.
That moment gave me the push I needed to seriously consider IVF. From there, I dove into research and soon found myself booked for my first appointment with an IVF specialist.
💬 Next, I’ll be sharing more about Initial Appointment: IVF and Donor Process — my first real step into the IVF process.
💕 Thank you for reading — and for being part of this space where IVF stories are shared honestly.
